How To Control Anger: 10 Best Ways To Tame Your Temper
Knowing how to control anger is very, very important for a couple of key reasons. One is that it wreaks havoc in your relationships. While anger is normal and healthy, lashing out to practically anyone over an issue will only branch out to other issues. The other reason, one that will manifest gradually and sometimes, without you realizing, is the health risk factor, both physical and psychological.
Anger management has never been easy. It’s a process one should strive hard to complete. It demands a strong will but isn’t impossible to achieve. So, if you’re among those who fume over stubborn children who never listen, who lashes out when someone cuts you off while driving, this article will give you effective ways on how to control anger.
10 Ways on How to Deal with Anger
Have Self-awareness and Self-acceptance
This is why you are here searching for ways on how to deal with anger, right? You know there’s a growing concern that’s affecting you and the people you love and there’s an urgent need to address that before it completely gets out of hand. This, of course, before everything else, is the very first step one should take in anger management. Stop with all the denials. Practice self-awareness. Accept everything wholeheartedly. Obviously, no one, all the more yourself, can help you if you can’t and won’t admit your flaws. It requires courage, sure. But your admittance will be very crucial towards improvement.
Recognize the Signs and Always, Always Think Before Anything Else
Try to identify signs which can precipitate outrage. This could be physiological symptoms like a sudden increase in heartbeat, faster breathing, even sweating and may include certain body language like cupping your hand into a fist, getting sarcastic, or raising your voice. Emotional symptoms must also be recognized as feeling irritated, a need to strike, or even feeling sad or depressed. When you do so, you can do something to prevent getting angry. Like walking out, relaxing through deep-breathing, repeating calming word within your head, taking a short break, or anything to distract you. This way, you can get over your emotions and be able to think clearly about how to control anger. In anger management, always, always think before anything else.
Look Deeper Beneath the Emotions
Part of getting ahead of your emotions and learning how to deal with anger is trying to look deeper underneath. Perhaps there’s a real reason behind your anger, a deeper underlying emotion that is masked by your first reaction. Example, when someone cut you off, it could be that your outburst was just replacing an instant fear you felt at that moment.
Or when you’re very late and someone ahead seems to be delaying you. Instead of being infuriated with the person, perhaps there’s a self-hatred as to how you didn’t prepare ahead of time, or the guilt knowing you make someone wait. Understanding this can make you understand the reason behind your fury as well. Then you can learn how to control anger.
Express Your Anger, But Only When You’re Calm
We always make temporary decisions and promises when we’re angry. That’s why in anger management when you start to recognize the sign, and you get ahead of your emotions, have finally calmed down and have sorted everything out, you can now express yourself assertively but without being too confrontational. Remember your goal is not to cause tension or hurt others but be heard out and understood. Also, bear in mind to stick with the “I” statements instead of the “you” to prevent criticizing or putting the blame. Instead of saying “you were supposed to do this and do that,” try saying, “I’m upset that you weren’t able to do this and that”. In learning how to deal with anger, this will help decrease the tension.
Practice Maintaining Calm
The thing with those who don’t know how to control anger, they never enjoy peace of mind. Do not ever let it become your way of life. Learn how to practice calmness every day, until it becomes so natural you don’t need to be consciously thinking about it. Calmness will let you counter anger. And it will surely bring you peace of mind in the long run. Now if you’re thinking about doing some yoga pose and meditating all day, need not worry. Anger management via practicing daily calm can be as simple as spending your free time doing nothing at all but sitting quietly, listening to your breathing. Marvel at how composed you can possibly get.
Deflect with Humor
A famous villain in an acclaimed movie once said, “Why so serious?” And he’s a villain. The point is, we sometimes take things seriously that even little things can trigger us, slowly taking the happiness out of our system without us even knowing! Remember that “life is a joke,” literally. What this means though is try to see the lighter side of everything, something that is perhaps funny after all. Then laugh at it. It’s always been proven that humor is very effective on how to deal with anger. Just avoid sarcasm though.
Be Physically Active
If you think anger management only involves changing the mindset and adjusting perspective, then consider otherwise. Some activities we do anywhere can bring stress that if left unchecked, can trigger anger outbursts. Imagine yourself working for such a demanding boss and coming home to a cluttered mess.
Now to help address the root cause, or trigger (i.e. stress) try some enjoyable physical activities like various exercises. Take walking for example, aside from reducing the amount of stress, it will also help you maintain a peace of mind. You can also express all your frustrations and energy in the gym, or even in a makeshift one. In psychology, undesirable emotions can be channelized into something creative and acceptable.
Make Positive Self-talk a Habit
Self-talk or the inner conversation with ourselves can teach you how to control anger. The general idea states that our inner thoughts have such great impact on how we react and feel that if your self-talk is so negative, your mindset and emotions will be “wired” towards negativity to the point that even when something seems optimistic, you will take it adversely. So when you’re angry over something, tell yourself it’s going to be okay and that nothing really is worth the rage. Start with a single positive thought. Notice how this simple anger management strategy slowly sways your way of thinking and stimulates positivity when you continue doing so.
It’s one of the most overrated bits of advice there is but it’s one of the most difficult to follow. We all have a sense of pride so it’s normal if we sometimes find it hard to forgive others, especially when we feel we’re the “victim”. But remember. Holding a grudge can slowly and will eventually rub you off of happiness and peace of mind. It is also why you can’t seem to control your anger. So practice understanding and compassion. Learn to forgive not just others but more so yourself. Forgiving is not just a powerful anger management strategy but a great therapeutic tool too. Learn to let go of all your anger and resentment and know that forgiveness is not for them, it’s for you.
Know When to Seek Professional Help
Say you tried everything on how to deal with anger. Only for disappointing results. Don’t worry. Everything gets worse before it all gets better. So don’t even think of quitting. It will always be a long, sometimes excruciating, process but it will absolutely lead to a truly satisfying payoff.
The truth though, sometimes you just can’t seem to do it alone. That’s why you have friends and family, right? Never forget to turn to someone you can trust, who you can express all your frustrations too and will listen to you. It’s also never wrong and shameful to seek professional help for anger management. Don’t ever think to talk to professionals will make you less of a person. You will never know how great of an assistance they can be if you won’t ever try.
Remember, your anger does not define you. You’re always better than your emotions. So don’t let it control you. Practice these steps on how to control anger and be surprised at the amazing effects it can give you.